Memoir
Date Published: November 12, 2021
Publisher: Acorn Publishing
Seven-year-old Leslie has a serious problem: someone is trying to kill her.
She must fight to save herself and her little brother from the stark realities of living with their mother’s raging psychosis. To evade the evil Russian spies her mother believes are after them, they forgo sleep, speak in whispers, and live on the run. Her mother searches for hidden listening devices, writes rambling manifestos about the impending Communist takeover, and attempts to kill herself and her children to protect them from rape, torture, and murder at the hands of the government. Controlling the chaos seems impossible—Leslie rebels, which only angers her mother, but when she obeys, terrible consequences follow.
Eventually, the police place Leslie and her brother in foster care. Freedom from her mother’s paranoia and violent tendencies offers the young girl a glimmer of hope, but she plummets into despair under the oppressive weight of abusive, alienating homes. All seems lost until a teacher intervenes, risking everything to bring Leslie to safety, to show her the redemptive power of trust and patience, and to prove unconditional love is possible, even without the bond of blood.
When I Was Her Daughter is a raw, honest account of one girl’s terrifying childhood journey through madness, loss, and a broken foster care system, where only the lucky and most resilient survive.
Can you tell us a little about the process of getting this
book published? How did you come up with the idea and how did you start?
Over the years, I firmly believed I wanted to publish
traditionally. I researched that publishing path and agents, and I queried a
couple dozen or so--all rejections. I heard again and again that memoir is
notoriously difficult to sell to publishers unless the author is well-known and
has a massive social media presence. I kept thinking, my memoir will be the one
that breaks through these barriers and blows agents and publishers away. I also
became increasingly aware of the fact that landing an agent and a publisher is
a time and numbers game. I very well may have landed an agent for my memoir, but would it be a year from now? Two?
Five? So I researched other paths, and the hybrid model attracted me for many
reasons, the main reason being that, if I were offered a contract, I could
potentially see my book in print in less than a year’s time.
As someone who has already spent two decades getting this
book ready for publication, I did not want to spend any more time waiting,
especially not if my book were good enough to publish right now. I might have
had a different opinion on this if my book were still in the early stages of development
and I thought I could write, edit, and polish it very quickly. Then, my writing
journey and the path to publishing would not have seemed so laborious. I might
have had the patience for that. However, traditional publishing is not what it
used to be. It is more common than not that authors are doing much of their own
marketing and social media management. And traditional publishers take a huge
cut of the royalties earned--and an agent takes a cut, too. The more I learned,
the more I realized that I didn’t like any of the drawbacks--and the perks
didn’t make the drawbacks worthwhile.
When I learned more about Acorn Publishing and about Holly
Kammier and Jessica Therrien, Acorn’s owners, I felt certain that Acorn would
be the best place for me and my memoir. When I finally signed my contract, a
huge weight lifted from me. I was no longer in limbo, wondering, deciding,
ruminating over what would become of my memoir, this manuscript I’d been
pouring so much sweat and tears into for so many years. The months leading up
to publication were challenging, but Acorn’s hybrid model includes guidance
about every aspect of publishing, from cover design to formatting, from social
media and platform-building to book launch planning. Now that my book is
published, I cannot believe I spent so much time agonizing over what to do. Of
course, I had to put in the time and do the work to understand where I wanted
to go in this industry, but I would make the same decision again in a
heartbeat.
What surprised you most about getting your book published?
The thing that surprised me the most about getting my book
published was knowing I could actually regard my book as complete enough and
good enough for publication...that meant I needed to allow myself to stop
working on it. I think a part of me was afraid to stop because I’d been working
on the book for the better part of two decades. If I couldn’t work on it
anymore, what did that mean for me? Did it mean I would no longer have any
direction or purpose in my life? Did it mean I wouldn’t know myself anymore--who am I if I’m not writing my memoir? I
think when we shift gears in life, we inevitably experience a sense of loss. To
stop working on this memoir meant I would no longer be forced to confront my
past. It also meant I wouldn’t be spending time remembering or thinking about
my childhood and my biological mom. I was afraid to say goodbye to my childhood
because I am perpetually locked in a state of nostalgia and saudade. Even though my biological mom
and I haven’t had a relationship since I was ten, writing this book was a way
of keeping her alive, keeping her with me. Completing this book meant I had to
be brave enough to let her, and my childhood, go. This was a pivotal moment for
me.
Tell us a little about what you do when you aren’t writing
When I’m not writing, I love to read and to watch movies and
drama series. I particularly like anything dark, haunting, or character-driven,
including coming-of-age stories that take me back to a time in my own life when
anything seemed possible. I also enjoy taking walks. I used to love doing yoga
and working out at the gym, but for now, my knees and COVID are making things
difficult.
As a published author, what would you say was the most
pivotal point of your writing life?
The most pivotal point of my writing life was my divorce
from my first husband in 2005. That major change gave me the perspective I
needed to rediscover who I am. I started traveling more, listening to music
again and attending concerts. Also, thanks to the encouragement and compassion
of a very spiritual and emotionally tuned-in guru, I began drafting my memoir.
Essentially, this is when I started doing the deeper work of healing from the
trauma of my childhood.
Where do you get your best ideas and why do you think that
is?
I get my best ideas when I’m sleeping (dreaming) or in the
moments right before I fall asleep. I think these ideas come to me because I am
returning to a vulnerable state as the rest of the world and its stressors fall
away from me, allowing my creativity space to breathe. I also get some great
ideas when I listen to music and while I walk. The lyrics of some of my
favorite songs spark creativity in me, and walking in nature seems to oxygenate
my body and brain and put me on a higher plane of existence.
What is the toughest criticism given to you as an author?
One of the toughest pieces of criticism I’ve ever received
was from someone in a new writers group who blatantly said, “I don’t even know
who your audience is. I mean, I would never read this book.” It stung in the
moment, but it forced me to clean things up (after a few wrong directions) and
continue learning about the art of memoir. Once I felt confident that I could
write my memoir for myself and for the reader in me, I knew I was on the right
track, and I never looked back. I’ve tried to do that--take every bit of hard
feedback and use it to be introspective and objective in the interest of
telling better stories.
What has been your best accomplishment as a writer?
Completing and publishing my memoir has been the writing
accomplishment of which I am most proud. There is something so exhilarating
about reaching a major writing deadline, and the fact that my story now belongs
to readers restores my faith in myself--in my ability to see important and
difficult things through to the end.
How many unpublished and half-finished books do you have?
Haha! This is a good question! I have an unpublished poetry
chapbook, which is easily part of a longer compilation of poems. I have two
novels in progress and two memoirs dancing around in my head. I also have two
short stories that have been workshopped and are just about finished. And I
have about a zillion short stories, essays, and poems that seem more like dead
ends than new beginnings.
About the Author
Visit the author online at LeslieFergusonAuthor.com.
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