Essays & Collections, Parenting Humor, Women's Non-fiction
Date Published: 09-24-2024
Judy Haveson always believed she would one day “have it all.”
Then she turned forty and wondered if she had waited too long. After
countless failed first dates and fewer second ones, she finally found love,
got married, and became a mother at forty-three.
Oldest Mom on the Playground is a collection of relatable, heartwarming,
and humorous essays. Written in her signature conversational style and with
a touch of sarcasm, Judy takes readers on her journey of getting pregnant
after forty (and delivering the baby during a full moon), raising a child in
New York City (including the time she lost him in a grocery store and found
him standing on Broadway), leaving the career she spent decades building to
volunteer as a preschool class rep, to becoming a card-carrying member of
the sandwich generation.
Judy offers no parenting advice, only personal reflection. And she takes
nothing in her life for granted. Her message to other midlife mamas is this:
trust your gut, let your life experience guide you, and pray no one ever
mistakes you for the grandmother.
Can you tell us a little about the process of getting this book published? How did you come up with the idea and how did you start?
After I published my first book, Laugh Cry Rewind – A Memoir, many people asked me when book #2 was coming out. I'd laugh and say that I probably wouldn't write another book. However, several months after publishing my memoir, I started thinking about a different kind of book to write. I wanted to write something about being a mother later in life. While today it's certainly not uncommon for women to start their families in their forties, when I was in my twenties and thirties, it was not the norm.
As I began writing about my journey to motherhood, I realized how the different phases of my life were changing at the same time my son was born. I was at the top of my career when I got pregnant and always thought I'd keep going, but then I decided to go all-in on motherhood and work part-time. My parents were aging, and my father got sick, so I was constantly sandwiched between raising my newborn, working on my business, and rushing to be by my mother's side to help her with my father. I knew that my stories, while not always like other women like me, were at least relatable to the overall situation. But I didn't want to write the same format since I'd already written a memoir. That's when my editor suggested making a book of essays that captured different moments of my journey. And voila, that's how the book was born.
Writing a book of standalone essays is a lot different than an ongoing narrative. It’s tricky what to include, not include, and what order to put them in. I read similar books and found no linear or chronological order to follow, and I liked that concept. I like that if you want to pick up a book and not read the whole thing, you don’t have to and can pick and choose what looks intriguing. That’s why I gave each essay a fun title to allow the reader to decide whether to read it, skip it, or come back later. I also put the book into five sections to give the reader an idea of each essay’s theme.
What surprised you most about getting your book published?
I was familiar with the process since I’d already self-published my first book. I had such a huge learning curve the first time, but even with the knowledge, the self-publishing and publishing world is always evolving, so I’d say keeping up with new things was my biggest challenge. For example, I hired professional editors and book cover designers for the first book. But the biggest surprise to me was book formatting. I’d hired someone last time because I know enough about Microsoft Word to be dangerous. I took an online course with a fellow author named Abbie Emmons, and her step-by-step video enabled me to format my own book. If I’m being honest, the formatting for this book is 1000% better than my first book! There’s something very satisfying knowing you contributed to the book beyond the writing.
Tell us a little about what you do when you aren’t writing
I love playing with my beloved Yorkie, Toby. He’s my best friend, next to my husband and son! J He’s constantly by my side, and he has heard the book in its entirety before anyone. He seemed so engaged as I read to him, but that might be because he knew he’d get a treat when I finished. I also like reading, as cliché as that sounds. I’m constantly looking for the next great book or series, and lately, I’ve gotten into historical fiction. I could only hope to write like that! I love home improvement shows, so I’m always looking for new ways to spruce our home.
As a published author, what would you say was the most pivotal point of your writing life?
The most pivotal point in my writing life was being invited to give an Author Talk at the local library. When I arrived on the day of the talk, I was told seven people had signed up, and others would probably drop by during the hour. I pictured several people sitting in the audience, listening to me read excerpts from my book and then answering all their questions. Then, I’d sell and sign books for everyone in attendance. That’s the thing about conjuring up pictures in your mind.
Truth: one person showed up (not counting my husband!). But it was all good because what a remarkable woman my lone audience member turned out to be! Not only had she read the book beforehand, but she also came prepared to discuss it in-depth with me. And that’s precisely what we did for almost an hour; talk about my book.
Connecting with someone personally can be incredibly rewarding, especially with something as vulnerable as a memoir. It’s overwhelming when your words resonate deeply with people who have never met you but now feel like they know you. Writing is a solitary endeavor and can sometimes feel isolating, but moments like this make it all worth it.
Where do you get your best ideas and why do you think that is?
My best ideas come to me when I’m driving home after dropping my son off at school. In that 20-minute ride I can come up with all sorts of ideas and concepts. Because I write a lot about my life and experiences, I also get ideas from listening to songs. Thank you, Sirius XM, for stations like 70s on 7 and 80s on 8. Hearing songs from my youth help me remember certain moments of my life and make me want to write about them. Looking at old pictures also help.
What is the toughest criticism given to you as an author?
For this book, I decided to sign up for NetGalley to get some early reviews before the book is released. While most of the early reviewers were constructive and positive, I did receive a few that were not as kind. I was called privileged, pretentious, repetitive, dull, sounds like a bunch of blog posts, etc. While it’s all part of the process, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting. But, I chose to look at the bright side and remember you can’t always please everyone.
What has been your best accomplishment as a writer?
My biggest accomplishment so far is having people who have read my memoir ask me when my next book is coming out. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s nice that people want me to keep writing.
How many unpublished and half-finished books do you have?
About 2-3! I’m currently working on a few manuscripts so stay tuned!
About the Author
Judy Haveson is the award-winning author of Laugh Cry Rewind—A
Memoir. She is known for her sarcastic humor and enjoys sharing stories
about her life experiences and observations. Her fascination with
storytelling comes from her decades-long career in public relations. Judy
once had a boss tell her that there are two types of people: those who know
and those who want to know. That boss fired her, but his words became a
valuable lesson to always aim to be the one who knows. Judy lives in Hampton
Bays, NY, with her husband, Adam, son, Jack, and adorable Yorkie,
Toby.
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